August 2020 Newsletter

Thank you for taking a moment to allow us to fill you in on the last several months. God has been so faithful in keeping our momentum at Lost Sparrows, even during the quarantine. We have spent a lot of time planning and organizing our next steps. We have also been able to support some of our ministry partners overseas as they also struggle with the pandemic. We see God’s will being done and know that He is still in control, even as the world seems so out of control. Children need families now more than ever, and we are working diligently to help children and families thrive around the world.

Highlights from Croatia and Bosnia

January 30 to February 7 was an exciting time for us as Stacey was able to travel to Europe one last time before everyone was shut down. For the last few years, we have had some terrific partners in Bosnia, Josh and Taylor Irby, that we have been working with. Now Josh and Taylor are consistent partners with Lost Sparrows, and due to the pandemic are stateside after living in Bosnia for 10+ years. During Stacey’s time there, so many positive things were accomplished. Here are some highlights:

Stacey and Taylor went to Zagreb, Croatia to join 43 people from several nationalities representing 8 countries across Eastern Europe. The meeting was hosted by World Without Orphans. Across 2 days we participated in networking with others involved in orphan care. We learned what others are doing and were able to share what we can offer in trauma-informed education.

We partnered with a nonprofit in Sarajevo called “Give Us a Chance.” This organization supports families who have children with special needs. In Bosnia there is very little government support and help for these people, so “Give Us a Chance” helps by providing respite care, education, therapy, equipment, and relational support for families that often feel forgotten. We had three events with this organization during the week. First, we did a Night Out for parents of special needs children. Lost Sparrows paid for the food and brought special gifts donated by special needs families in the US. Registration was full at 35 moms within 8 hours. We were able to share our passion for these children and listen to the struggles of so many incredibly sacrificing women. The dinner ended with impromptu dancing. It was clear these moms were so encouraged!

The next day Stacey led a training class for the staff of this organization. She covered the topics they said they needed most help with: aggressive children and children who are nonverbal. At the end of the class, Stacey shared the heartwarming story of bringing our son home from Bulgaria. She was able to share what the trauma of an institution did to him, and how he is healing from it. She encouraged the staff that what they are doing keeps kids out of institutions. There was not a dry eye in the room. Another day we did a training for moms of these kids with special needs. It was another very powerful day and ended with the director presenting us with gifts and being invited to coffee by the moms. It was such an encouraging time for everyone.

Stacey then led a seminar for students on stress, anxiety and growing up with second hand trauma. Several students attended and were engaged as they learned more about how to manage their stress, as this generation is known as the most anxious generation. Although the seminar ended at 9:30, students stayed until almost 11 talking.

“Just as man cannot live without dreams, he cannot live without hope. If dreams reflect the past, hope summons the future.”

Elie Weisel


Zorey is not impressed.

Our plans sure changed when the pandemic hit. We were scheduled to do a conference in Sarajevo, Bosnia in April that we had to postpone. We are hopeful that we will be able to hold the conference next April as there is much need for education and support of local families. We have been able to remotely support several partners in Bulgaria and Bosnia that are supporting families through this very challenging pandemic. We are also working on translating training videos and books into native languages.

God is moving in so many ways with Lost Sparrows.

There will be much more info to come in our next newsletter. Thank you for supporting and praying for Lost Sparrows as we continue to share God’s love and help children thrive in families.

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December 2019 Newsletter

Friends and family,

The last three months have been a rollercoaster of highs and lows. The lows began with pictures from Bosnia of children restrained, beaten and tied to radiators and beds in an orphanage. It was the beginning of public outcry and an investigation into the treatment of orphans in Eastern Europe.

Personally, it was a reminder of things I’ve witnessed that are mostly too hard to carry each day. I want to take this newsletter to share one of the things I saw that is so hard to forget.

Bulgaria – 2019

The teen boy is thrashing and rocking with his hands and feet tied to a chair. He has a padded football helmet strapped on in a desperate attempt by overburdened caregivers to keep him from seriously harming himself.

He is yelling with a ragged voice, over and over, “Father? Father?”

I kneel by him and he instantly reaches out and grabs my hand. I speak in a soft voice and he begins to calm. His breathing evens and the rocking loses its violent motions and slows.

He smells. He reeks of institution; urine, neglect and unwashed fear. I know this smell and my insides clutch at the remembering. I remember that it took weeks of bathing before our adopted son no longer smelled of institution. It seemed to cling to his very being, a silent whisper of darkness and pain.

The boys hands were covered in self-inflicted wounds from biting and scratching in an attempt to feel and release boredom and pain. I asked to remove the helmet and as I did, I saw that his sweat soaked hair covered scars and wounds, old and new. His violent head-banging had done real damage. I also saw the peach fuzz that an adolescent wears before entering adulthood, and startlingly beautiful eyes that lighted temporarily on my face. I looked away for a moment of reprieve, but there was none to be found. I was surrounded by children in a brightly lit, clean room who all swayed and rocked and bit and moaned and scratched in pain and boredom. It was unreal and overwhelming and it took everything in me not to stand up from that chair and leave that space.

In these children I see my son, Israel. I see the trajectory for a special needs boy placed at birth in an orphanage. I see my son’s future in an orphanage and it makes my soul weep.

I cried out silently in that moment, “Father, Father…where are you? Don’t you hear him?” My cries matched the pitch and intensity of the young boy I sat beside.

Institutionalization often breaks the mind. Children were not made to grow up in institutions without love and family. They cannot grow and thrive when only basic needs are met; even in the best equipped and cleanest buildings. An orphanage can never meet the greatest human need.

I sat for several more moments, and then I heard a megaphone voice in my ear, “Stacey, do YOU hear?” This moment was when I heard a voice that called me to lift my head from all-the-things that I felt I needed to do. And actually put my hands to what I was being called to do.

CS Lewis penned the following: God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks in our consciences, but shouts in our pains. It is his megaphone to rouse a deaf world.

These kids are without family…..and therein lies the crux of the problem. The need is FAMILY, and how do we give them their greatest need? How can Lost Sparrows help provide for kids tied to radiators or children rocking soundlessly in a clean and warm building? How can we HEAR the need, and decide instead to continue providing bigger buildings, better restraints and newer radiators? The answer – we cannot.

What needs to be said, is that kids who are raised in institutions without the love of a main caregiver, often become violent, aggressive and unmanageable. They become teens who require physical her mechanical restraints in order to keep staff and others safe. I don’t look at this orphanage staff in anger with pointed finger. I have seen what a strong teenager looks like who has been raised within four concrete walls. I ask you to picture a roomful of these strong teenagers with one or two caregivers. Caregivers who are working for a minimum wage with very little training or instruction. This is reality, and theory falls flat in the face of angry, scared, lonely teens who have no connection. I am saddened and broken to see teens tied to radiators, but I am not shocked because this is not isolated. You CANNOT raise a child in an orphanage and expect their brains to be wired correctly. Children are not resilient to the choices of adults.

So I’ve shared the lows and now I want to give you some hope in the highs. I tend to be incredibly blunt in my answers to this crisis for children. We CANNOT just keep pulling children out of orphanages. The numbers are overwhelming and international adoption has plummeted. We instead have to focus on why they are being placed there in the first place. Then we have to equip people through training and education in raising children who come from hard places.

We must support family, not bigger orphanages with better equipment. This has ramped up our efforts to stop the flood of children into orphanages and support foster care and adoption in-country. This has increased our efforts to provide help and services to first family, so children are not placed in orphanages in the first place. Lastly, we are poised to help provide training and education to staff in orphanages, because the sad reality, is that there are children that will never leave the four walls of the institutions.

I leave for Bosnia in February to join other non-profits in a round table discussion about effective orphan care across the Balkans. We will also be providing a special dinner and starting a monthly support group for families who are raising children with special needs. Lastly, I will be meeting with area officials to hammer out final details for the Lost Sparrows conference in April.

I believe we can make a difference in the orphan crisis. I believe that we can bring Hope to so many who are broken. Please pray for Lost Sparrows, as we carry Hope to the most vulnerable.

“Hope is the thing with feathers-
That perches in the soul-
And sings the tune without the words-
And never stops-“
By Emily Dickinson

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September 2019

Friends, family and people who stumbled upon this newsletter,

It has been a crazy year for Lost Sparrows. But what it boils down to for me and my family, has been a huge cross-country move (with 7 kids and a bearded dragon), and leaving my career. In a very scary leap, we have determined that Lost Sparrows needs to become more of a full-time ministry. It has grown so much in the last year, as we trained over 600 foster-adopt parents, caregivers, and staff across Russia, Bulgaria, Bosnia and the United States. As far as non-profits go, we have had an incredible reach since inception and I can only attribute this to God.

As we are looking to the future, I will be returning to Bosnia in January to meet with our crisis pregnancy contacts, and also be attending several meetings to prepare for our large conference in late Spring. We will be returning as a team to train on trauma-informed practices, and also continuing our work with crisis pregnancy. Our team is busy working on how best to support the existing infrastructure of foster care and the staff at orphanages.

One of the exciting projects we are about to roll out, is how you can support our “Baby Boxes” project. Pictured is a couple who received our very first “Baby Box”, so be on the lookout for how you can help.

We also will be returning to Bosnia, Bulgaria, and Russia to train on Trauma-Informed Parenting. I am often asked what does this training look like? The best way to describe it, is to say it is the same training that we provide in the United States for caregivers of children from hard places. Trauma-Informed Parenting, is understanding that early childhood neglect or abuse causes the brain to be altered. This can look like bad behavior and manipulation in a child. Our trainings help parents and caregivers to understand the science behind the changes in the brain. I have written about this for teachers here,  –

“Yesterday I was one thankful and inspired woman. I had the opportunity to be at a workshop that was organized by Lost Sparrows and Hope and Homes for foster families, adoptive families, and those who work directly with children without parental care. They spoke of kids who have survived trauma and how to help them in practical ways. I believe that this workshop would have been incredibly helpful for everyone. It was so encouraging to me! And they also left me 2 very useful books.” – From Dagana, waiting adoptive mom

Darren and I are so excited for Lost Sparrows 2020. Our goal is to reach over 1000 foster-adopt families, caregivers and staff. We would like to ask you to consider partnering with us as we take this very scary leap. lost Sparrows needs financial partners, as well as lots of prayer.

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